Chuck Berry died at the ripe old age of 90 in St. Charles County on Saturday. But that’s not in Linn or Benton counties, you say? Ask me if I care. Go ahead. Well, you can’t, because I’m not here. This is a newspaper. Anyway, rest in peace Mr. Berry. And may your Ding-a-ling rest in peace as well. Some celebrities will be missed because they’re no longer there… You’ll be missed because you kicked major a*s and gave us the rock we rock to.

Also some great news rolling on Saturday. One Raymond Merl Turner pleaded not guilty to 28 charges of felony sex abuse, including sodomy and rape. These charges were filed in reference to events occurring over a 10-year span of time. Wonderful.

OSU’s Board of Trustees was set to vote on a tuition increase last Friday, but chose to delay things after a dozen-plus people crashed the party in protest. The proposed increase would have been 4% and 2% for undergraduates (in state and out of state respectively). Protesters called for board meetings that students could attend, pay cuts for employees making over a certain amount, etc. While these demands were totally reasonable (in my mind, anyway), representatives of the ASOSU (Associated Students of Oregon State University) were a bit miffed, and felt that the other students sort of busted in there after they had just spoken to board members themselves. Seems to me that some people feel the level of inclusivity is ineffective, but what do I know. I just write satire every week that people interpret as hard fact and get all pissed off about.
The Lebanon Log: On the 16th, heroin and needles were found on Jennings Street after which an officer showed up and just found a box of unused diabetic needles (no heroin). A few hours later someone stole a “yard debris cart,” though whether or not they got off with the debris is for God to know.

Two days earlier on the 14th, a man was arrested, a car window was broken, a trailer and bike were stolen, packages were taken off a porch, and someone found a fake $100 bill.

~By Johnny Beaver